love u my lil peanut and also u my big baby/

i seem to be inseparable from Lorve these few days...even for a moment.
everyday i wish for nite time to come fast so that I am able to sleep beside Lorve and hug him.
i hate to be dependant...but somehow, i realli need him to be by my side for watever reason it is.

cant wait for my checkup on 5th Jan... cant wait to hear news about our lil peanut growth.. hope everything will be fine..

everyday without fail i would look in the mirror and see if the tummy is protruding enough ...hehe..i cant wait to have that big tummy...hehe...

i love u sayang.....and we will grow old together insyalllah...

7 weeks

went for checkup and u/s last friday..

my lil peanut has a heartbeat...and its beating so fast...i cant believe it.subhanallah..

aniwae, ive been having lots of nausea and vomitting in office..especially once i step in the office, i would vomit...

lately no appetite..but still forcing myself to eat....i want my baby to be healthy..
but im craving for some soda drink..or perhaps a can of coke? is it ok to be drinking dat? im like soo thirsty for it.

i dun like it...but i have too.

i sometimes drag myself to go to werk..maybe becos im not in the mood .
but i have to.. i have no choice...we cant afford to just have one working person in our marriage...

because we cant afford, i have to force myself....telling myself everyday that its ok to go to werk..all i wanna do is stay at home..

but when i dont werk, i am not able to enjoy my life animore..i will be solely dependant on husband..( which i don like the feeling at all).

so im trapped...this pregnant lady is trap... she gotta go to work even though she is reluctant...and part of her insist of staying at home..

how how how?

its very early and i hope everything will be smooth.

im still in early pregnancy stage..
first trimester is the crucial time to begin with.
i hope people around me understand how much i need to take care of this...i want to safely deliver my baby...


my back is aching like mad...



abang,....i need you so much...

i am counting every hour now to meet u.... why do u have to be away from me for just a while.. :'(

im so sad...

how i stumble upon pregnancy.

Waited for this moment to happen in my body for nearly a year.

We got married december last year though. ;)

aniwae,
alhamdulilah, Clomid did wonders to me.

I am a PCOS (polcycstic ovaries syndrom) patient, so it means my period is irregular, and I donot ovulate as it should every month.
I started with 50mg of clomid ( and I didnt ovulate).
Doc increased my dosage to 100mg ( and I didnt ovulate either)..

and last chance for me with clomid, I took 150mg, and with Allah's will, I ovulated when i took the blood test Day 21...
and 30th November, I took my first pregnancy test...and it came...

Being kiasu and wanting to make sure its not a false positive....i took another 2 test..

with different brand as well..hahaa..

so now, i have like 4 sticks with me...all giving me the same result. :)

oh no, my back ache is realli killing me...

and oh..

ive just finished washing my wall fan and after this im gonna change the bedsheet and new quilt as well...

..

its not a good saturday today to begin with...
i nearly lay flat on my butt while entering the bathroom today...
the floor was slippery, and im lucky to hold on to the pillars.

i wouldnt know waht will happen if fell... :(

im still in my early stage of pregnancy, so i dun want to have any misfortune in my pregnancy journey.

crucial decision...

its just my luck maybe, ive just started new job 3 weeks ago, and now ive found out that im pregnant..

Allah has granted me my wish...and as much as I love and really wanting this pregnancy, i want to keep my job as well( only because of money)..
i cant vision myself, only depending on my husband for $$ ultrasounds, checkups, etc..

but this new job is stressful, and I hate it when it haunts me even in bed.... it gives me stress.... and husband asked me to resign...( i wanted to resign too, but thinking twice when the topic $$ popped up).

sometimes,i wonder the stress of work is because i made it happen and worried too much, or the job is just plain tough n i cant cope rite now cos im still a greenhorn . many times i felt like crying, but i always put my negatives behind and only thinking positives... ( but it didnt help sumtimes when my colleague constantly saying she's gonna quit due to stress)...

how? how? how? what would you do if you were me....shud i wait 3 months and see if this job gonna work.. i hate this feeling.

Alhamdulilah

Alhamdulilah.
We went for the first ultrasound today at KKh..
it was sumthing nervous for me..

however, only the sac is visible in the scan...both abdominal and vaginal ultrasound.
They couldnt find the yolk and fetal pole yet..
i was worried and sad...
but the doctors and nurses all told me , maybe cos the pregnancy is still in a very very earli stage..

:(

i shuldnt worry myself i know...but i cant help it.. my emotions are easily scarred now.. isit part of the pregnancy? :x