my life in shambles

its been 3 months being a mother to Nur IMan.... all is great... i thank ALLAH...

But sadly,ow whenever there's squabbles and arguement, it will always have someting to do with nur Iman..

I dont understand, but sumhow i have to make myself understand that I am not important in his life animore....even though he didnt say it, actions always speaks louder than words...
He is over protective on our baby.... and I am always to be blame on any mishap that happens..

Or maybe he is just tired being a sole breadwinner in the family....i felt guilty and only god knows how it feels like...

Tonite i realli feel that I am no longer needed in his life...he dont care about my emotions animore...my feelings......no more coaxing...
when was the last time he realli spend time with me at home? when? he dont realli care now.....as much as i know he tried, i dun feel it now.....

does it always have to be like dis....we onli have one kid, and im feeling it rite now....what if we have more....do he still need me in his life?

Nur Iman Sumaiyya, ibu love u very very much...and i never never blame u ... I have always love u my child....

2 mths...

hepi 2 mths my babe.

its been 2 mths since the day i brought her back... my preemie have turned wider and heavier..hehe ( all thanks to my breast milk that help her grow)..

so far, im glad that she reached her milestone i set for her...
she now knows how to smile back..makes sounds wen we interact with her....and shows emotion...

hehe..

im loving mummyhood...

some pixxies of Iman right after birth...

ious

alhamdulilah...everything is blissful.

26th June 2010; 0711: Nur Iman Sumaiyya was born.

After much pain from the contraction...and enduring without epidural, this lil pea was born.
I was too tired though to even kiss her or hold her for long in my arms.... I immediately went to sleep, with an episiotomy done by the midwife to deliver her...I was waiting for a doc to come and do the "repair" --> stitches...ouuuchhhhhhhh~!

It was a "long' journey in the labour ward...i spent 2 days in it...yes, 48 hours. Poor hubby...

It started when I experienced the gush of water pouring at 6.30pm 24th June at home..a lil bit confusing cause i didnt think 'That was it.." ...i was just 34 weeks 4 days in my prgnancy journey.
Hehe.

Aniwae, to cut the story short, my sis drove me to KKH.. said i was experiencing "gush of water"...and off i went, sent to the labour ward. The rest was history.
Iman was born premature...but at 2.7kg...hehe. I wonder if she's full term, her weight will be.

Stayed for 3 days in the hospital..cos Iman was admitted for intensive care in the Special Nursery Care..it was quite sad actualli for me, cos Iman cant room in with me..so for the nites i stayed, I spent crying..... :(


Will be posting picture of my darling pea soon.

im happi when u moved me..

Since i am technicalli a so called 'housewife' for now.i have plenty plenty of time to update the blog and facebook or watever...u name it.

It is very tiring to be doing housework rather in the office..because its such an ongoing things...things wil never stop in the house.... u have the laundry...the ironing ....the sweeping...blablabla...

I am making some sacrifices here...not that I want to 'ungkit' la...
Bersyukur sgt cos I get to give my husband the 'gift of life'...zuriat for him..ive been wanting this so much since we were married.

But when we gain some..we lose some..i ended with no job now...im at home..


Iman..i know u feel whatever i am feeling.......

its been months

its been months since i update this blog.
I am thankful to Allah for granting me the best gift in life, Iman is coming to my world.
Iman is lil pea's name....been calling her since I am 5 months pregnant.

Its been 5 months also that I didnt update this blog. A lot has happen.
I kept weeping and crying for various sort of reasons...

First it is work. I was stressed out with work and atmosphere... But that was the past. I am currently out of job. The company decided not to renew me due to my wish of having 4 mths maternity leave. Hey, i guess they are not worth spending time to work with.


I know its not a good idea for now to be not working... everything needs $$$.. from doc's appointment to medicine to buying Iman's things.

But i guess, my husband have to bear this and take up more responsibilities... He have to start taking this risk...since I have always had my own income since we were married..

Wallahu'alam.